Friday, October 29, 2010

Zacchaeus on Halloween

I'm invited to a dinner, OK? Weird thing is, it's at my place. Get this: I'm invited to be the host... invited to invite... Yeah, weird. What's even weirder: it's a costume party—you know, Halloween— and I'm coming disguised as myself. It's a crazy disguise, actually. Starts in a tree. Well, that's me disguised as a tall person. And disguised as somebody who doesn't really care. You know, at a bit of a distance, above it all, just curious, but not serious? Yeah, right. I would have died to be close to that guy, but I'm not about to let anybody see. So.... so the disguise.

But—the disguise doesn't fool him for a minute. He sees right thought it. “Hey, Zacchaeus!” (How the heck did he know it was me?) “I'm coming to your place. Lunch.” Whoa. Me? Who does he think I am? So we go. Now I've still got on a great disguise, a disguise that's fooled everybody forever: I go as a monster. An ogre. You know, like a tax collector, a greedy, slimy guy wallowing in stolen riches, living off other people's suffering. A scary dude. And again— it doesn't work! Dang if he doesn't see right through it. He knows it's a disguise, knows that it's really me under there. Only, OK, here's the really weird part: I don't know it. I don't realize that this is not the real me.

Until we sit down to eat. What is it about eating with thus guy? And he looks right through me, right through this thing that everybody else sees but isn't true, and he sees the real me beneath the costume, the me I've never even seen. And he respects that Zacchaeus that he sees, loves me, even. And, you know what? I love that Zacchaeus, too. And I think I'd love being that Zacchaeus. I think I will! I don't need to wear that costume, don't need to carry around this image of someone I'm not, somebody other than my real self, my real soul. No disguise.

So I take it off. I get rid of the whole thing. All the trappings. The greed, the money, the callousness. I give it away until there's nothing left but the person Jesus sees, this grateful, generous guy. I give it all away like party favors. And it is a party. It's like my birth day party! I'm a new person. I'm free! I feel like I've died and gone to heaven.

Which, I guess, I have. Maybe that's what he means when he says, “Salvation has come to this house. I came to seek and to save the lost.” Well, I don't know exactly what he was seeking, but I know what I've found. No fooling.

         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Live by faith

Dearly Beloved,

Grace and Peace to you.
         
         

O Lord, how long shall I cry to you "Violence!"
         and you will not save?
Why do you make me see wrongdoing
         and look at trouble?
Destruction and violence are before me;
         strife and contention arise.
So the law becomes slack
         and justice never prevails.

Then the Lord answered me and said:
         there is still a vision for the appointed time.
It knows how this all will end;
         it does not lie.
If it seems to tarry, wait for it;
         it will surely come, it will not delay.
Look at the proud! Their spirit is not right in them,
         but the righteous live by their faith.

                  —from Habakkuk 1.2-4; 2. 2-4

You who continually pray for peace, who long for wisdom from our leaders and healing and reconciliation among all peoples, who labor for justice for the dispossessed and who wait for the day of joy for all who are sorrowful, who dream of the angel of forgiveness laying her wings over the world and the spirit of gentleness walking among all people—you who wait for the Day of God—take heart. In times of violence and greed, times of fear and bitterness, we may lose courage, lose our hope in the vision. But God is at work in this world. Grace hides in all things. Uncounted souls are giving of themselves to the mending of the world in ways we cannot see or know. But listen: the mighty Day of Joy will not come because we labor to produce it; it will be given as a gift from beyond time, and therefore we labor to prepare for it.

Our faith is not optimism that the “good guys” will win. It is trust that Being itself is good, and enfolds even evil. God includes all things, even our struggles. Even death itself is swallowed up in resurrection. Faith is trust in the hidden blessing in all things, even things fraught with evil and suffering. When we live by fear, our spirit is not right in us. But we who love, live by our faith in God.

Trust in the vision. Wait for it. It will surely come.


         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Treed

Dearly Beloved,

Grace and Peace to you.
         
         

You've got me treed,
held in the cross-hairs
of your sharpshooter grace
up here with all my complications,
trapped among these anxious limbs
(we hold each other nervously).
I just wanted to peek,
to keep my distance,
observe and play it safe—
but now you've named me,
nailed me
(I could just die)—
and there is no way to save myself
from this tree of my undoing
(I could just fall)
but through you,
through your grave command,
your invitation
to become the host
in breaking bread
(still clinging, white-knuckled)
where I will recognize myself at last,
at last let go,
and rise from the table
into a spacious place,
a future I can't imagine
until it cuts me loose.



         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The heart sits

Dearly Beloved,

Grace and Peace to you.
         
         

The eye wanders around the room
picking up things, dropping them,
not feeling them, just pointing,

the ear pokes around another room,
not really getting the full taste,
just the drift of things,

fingers fidget as they are wont,
and the tongue is way too busy
to notice any of them—

while the heart sits
in darkness and silence within,
and opens

to the One Who Embraces,
the One Who Fills,
the One Who Adores.



         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Monday, October 25, 2010

The other wing

Dearly Beloved,

Grace and Peace to you.
         
         

We don't recognize the bright shapes
passing overhead
nor clearly ourselves
as we stump along the bitter ground,
enfolding burdens at our side,
trailing our one wing in the dirt
or flapping it desperately.

We are not all birds with one wing.
We are moths with one wing,
beautiful dragonflies
with one transparent wing,
majestic eagles who strike fear
into little ones with our talons, our beaks,
our one wing.

Isn't there another wing?
Something in us knows.
We search, we steal, we build them,
glorious and strong and false,
we bind another to us whole,
or sever wings and strap them on,
or lop the first for symmetry.

But all of us should have two wings.
Where is the other one?
The beauty, the balance, the natural
lift and soar and fearless grace?

It is here.
         Let me touch you.
It is here.
         Let me look at you.
It is here.





         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Fire

Dearly Beloved,

Grace and Peace to you.



I walk in falling flames of leaves
leaping to the heavens at my feet.
I am like a figure walking
in the fiery furnace.
How is it I am not consumed?
How is it I do not catch fire?

Ah, but I do. And I am.
How is it I do not wake up?



_____________________________
Weather Report

Incendiary,
If you get close enough.




Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve
______________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Sooner or later

Dearly Beloved,

Grace and Peace to you.
         
         
You can believe that you know
all the good stuff
pass by the altar with a knowing smile
nod at the prayer book the candle the mat
remembering that you've mastered it
carry the wise precepts in your wallet
as you go on
and on.

But sooner or later
in life or in death
you become still
lay down your burden
notice the weight absent from your shoulders
notice the sensation of not running in your feet
in your head
forget all you can do
everything you know
do this difficult thing
of being withheld
from the desperate chaos
being addressed
being loved
being not the One
who is doing the doing.

Sooner or later
and as often as you wish
you stop thinking
you are saved
and let it happen.

         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Pharisee and the tax collector

Dearly Beloved,

Grace and Peace to you.
         
         
         1.

Two men went up to pray,
one good enough and one not.
Neither you nor God, adoring,
can tell which is which.

Unless you're so damn sure
you know,
in which case we can tell
which one you're not.


         
         2.

The fruit of the tree
of Good and Evil
wasn't knowing the difference
but thinking it was best.

Stop trying to guess
how good you are
and fall in love with God,
whose mercy is all there is.


         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Listening

Dearly Beloved,

Grace and Peace to you.
         
         

God, how are you speaking to me today?
With what tiny voice,
what weary but persistent voice,
like an resilient widow,
coming to me quietly again and again?
With the silence voice of the heavens,
of the created order—your Word made flesh?

What murmurings stir in my heart,
what subtle leanings, what recurring awareness?

Is there some gratitude, some blessing
that wants me to give it voice?
Is there some compassion that rises in me,
some yearning on behalf of my sisters and brothers?
Is there someone crying out
whom my hearts wants to hear?
Who is on my heart this day?

Might your truth be written already on my heart?
What truth, or insight, or question,
what unspoken wonder emerges from my silence?
What presence grants itself to me?
What invites my presence?

God, this is my faith, and my prayer:
I am listening.
Give me grace to hear.
Amen.


         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Monday, October 18, 2010

God got tired

Dearly Beloved,

Grace and Peace to you.


         
         

God got tired of office work,
the endless lists,
the promotions and demotions,
the staff, so sure of themselves,
yet sucking up all the time.
God got tired of the theorems,
the measurements, the grading.
(The one rubber stamp that said SAVED
was weary from overuse, the S and D
worn away so that it just said AVE;
the others languished in a drawer.)
God got tired of the office politics,
the micromanagement, the power.
God got tired of being right,
being the only one who had any brains,
being in charge of every damn little thing.
So God left the paperwork undone,
rose, stretched, and walked off,
passing under the official portrait
(in oils, not photography, so quaint!)
with its distant, imperious gaze
(and those eyebrows!)—
headed for the enormous door,
and then thought better of it, turned around
and slipped out the service entrance,
into the breeze, the light,
the greening spring,
into children looking up at parents,
into moments of doubt and wonder,
into the smallest acts of love,
into ordinary things around the house,
into the chalice of this day.


         
         


Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve


__________________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Friday, October 15, 2010

Psalm from a Chilean mine

Dearly Beloved,

Grace and Peace to you.
         
         

God of grace, I praise you!
         Let me never take you for granted!
My very being is your doing,
         and my life is a testimony to you.
For I was buried deep
         and you brought me up.
I was in darkness
         and you gave me light.
I was in a narrow place
         and you have brought me out
to a spacious and open-armed land,
         to people who love me.

Cut off, I thought I was alone,
         but you were with me:
you accompanied me in my helplessness;
         you sat with me in my solitude.
In the dark, I could not see
         anyone to rescue me.
But there were those who prayed for me,
         who labored for my well-being.

How soon will I forget
         that you are my life?
How quiet will I be
         about your grace?
How afraid will I be of the dark,
         how despairing in my difficulties?

Holy One, you are my gladness;
         you are my confidence.
In my tightest spots I will trust you,
         and count on your unfailing grace.
When most alone I will rely on you,
         and your loving presence.
O God of Presence, you are my life.
         I thank you with all of my living.


         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Psalm 19

Dearly Beloved,

Grace and Peace to you.
         
         
                  Psalm 19

Creation sings the glory of God;
         the galaxies utter their prayers daily.
Each day is a word of God's story;
         each night discloses the truth.
Oh, they don't talk with words,
         not with audible voices.
But their message saturates the world,
         and reaches to the edge of the universe.
God has set the sun at home in this world,
         and every day it comes to marry us,
         comes to dance with vigor and grace.
It comes to our world from another,
         and visits everywhere,
         and no one is overlooked.

God's love is all that we need;
         it restarts our hearts.
God's wisdom is as sure as gravity;
         it sustains even the unwise.
God's ways are pure beauty,
         delighting the soul.
God's desire allures us,
         enlightens our eyes.

Live in wonder and awe and you become holy;
         you slip into the eternal.
The voice of God is What Is;
         pay attention and you truly live.
Throw away money for this kind of wisdom,
         even what you actually need.
Abandon all your loves for this Love,
         your favorite things, your most precious.

God, your love portrays me better than I;
         when I listen I become myself.
But who can see themselves clearly?
         Save me from my hidden faults.
Cut me loose from my attachment to myself.
         Set me free from my fears.
Help me live as a servant to life,
         not hurting or destroying.

God, may all my thoughts and words and actions
         be in harmony with your delight—
my Lifeboat, my Lover,
         my Life.





         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Loss

Dearly Beloved,

Grace and Peace to you.
         
         



So much is in a tiny boat
sailing away into the gray


you try so hard to keep
your balance on the space between


while you stand on this wide
virgin shore and behind you


stretches a whole continent
into the rest of the century



         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

__________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

If you want

Dearly Beloved,

Grace and Peace to you.
         
         

If you want
         you can find reasons to withhold.
In the autumn,
         some apples do not fall.
For every gift
         there is a regret, if you seek it.
The greater the leap
         the more possible it is to refrain.

An empty room
         has no shadows.
The more intense the silence
         the more deeply it is heard.
Without thinking,
         you often step into light.
You are never ready
         when the music overtakes you.


         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Monday, October 11, 2010

Keep praying

Dearly Beloved,

Grace and Peace to you.
         
         

There was a judge who neither feared God nor had respect for people. A widow kept coming to him and saying, "Grant me justice against my opponent.” For a while he refused; but later he said to himself, "Though I have no fear of God and no respect for anyone, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will grant her justice, so that she may not wear me out by continually coming.”
          — Luke 18. 2-5

We have to confess: sometimes we judge; sometimes we neither honor God nor respect people. And God comes to us again and again, pleading for justice. All too often we refuse. But give thanks that God is continually coming, wearing us down with her grace.

God does not speak to us in thundering tones, through authoritative powers with clarion voices. God speaks in the quiet murmurs in our hearts, in gentle nudgings and nagging questions. While our imperious, judging egoistic mind is busy with its business, God speaks in subtle, unflagging leanings of our hearts, the widowed voices within us. And God speaks in the voice of the poor and dispossessed, the vulnerable and powerless, in the silence of those who have no voice. She wears us down with the truth, with slight but persistent invitations to pay attention to what is within us and around us, calling us to love, to justice, to courage.

Prayer is not our attempt to get God to pay attention; it is the attention we give to God. We are by nature hard of hearing toward God's entreaties. So it takes time. We have to keep praying, keep listening. God's Word calls us to love radically. It is often outside the range of our expectations or even our initial acceptance, so it takes courage to listen. We have to not lose heart. (“Will the Human One come and find faith on earth?”)

Be still and listen for the patient widow's knock on your door. Listen for her voice. What might God be inviting you toward? How might God be seeking your attention? How is God coming to you now? Listen and wait; pray always and do not lose heart.

         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Friday, October 8, 2010

Practice gratitude

Dearly Beloved,

Grace and Peace to you.
         
         

Ten lepers approached him.... One of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice.... Jesus asked, "Were not ten made clean? But the other nine, where are they?...” Then he said to him, "Get up and go on your way; your faith has made you well."
         — From Luke 17. 11-19


What constituted that man's faith was gratitude. He didn't believe anything other than what the others did. What distinguished him was his gratitude for what he had received. It was his gratitude that made him whole.


Gratitude is the heart of faith. Whatever we call “faith” that is not rooted in gratitude is really just an attempt to manipulate God.


Gratitude is not something you always feel. It is something you practice. Today, practice gratitude.


If all you do is live a life that says, “Thank you,” it will be a life well lived.



         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Thursday, October 7, 2010

If we have died with him


If we have died with him
         we will also live with him.

                  — 2 Timothy 2.11

Give it all away:
your stuff, your blessings,
your good will, your love,
goodness yes, your love.
Give away yourself.
Give away your best things,
your favorite things.
Don't hold back.
Pour it on, dump it out,
throw it all into people's laps.
Let everything good
flow like a spring from you, a river,
all of it—though it multiplies
as you surrender it.
Spend it, lose it, neglect it, waste it—
waste it on the least deserving,
the least understanding, the least aware.
Don't calculate, as if you have to budget.
Ridiculously extravagant, fearlessly,
recklessly, giddily generous,
mindlessly raid your own savings of grace
and abandon it to your neighbors—
all your stuff, and God's as well,
until you have given away
the crumbs of your love,
your pictures, your house, your floor,
the ground beneath you,
everything,
even your life

until there is nothing left
but God,

and you will be really alive.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Weary prayer

Dearly Beloved,

Grace and Peace to you.
         
         

Gentle One,

I am battered.
I am tired.
Something in me deep is weary.
         Hold me.

I'm tired of swinging this oar
against the ceaseless waves
against these strong arms
that pound me drown me
pushing against what pushes against
keeping up defending
getting everything done.—
         Don't make me have to survive.
         Relieve me.

Take this uniform, this costume,
this suit of adequacy. Take it away.
Take this life, another's invention,
this skin I hardly fit into.
Strip me of all that,
till there is only myself,
naked and helpless and beloved
         lying in your hand.

Let me be you, asleep in the boat;
         let the storm go on on its own.

In the back of the boat,
hold me, rocking, rocking,
maybe even sing a little.
         Let me lie here and listen.

         Myself, I'll lie here and listen.


         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Laboring prayer

Dearly Beloved,

Grace and Peace to you.
         
         

We loaded 47,650 pounds of pumpkins off the truck yesterday. Our church will sell them through October to raise funds for missions. I ended the day tired, sore and happy. My knees in particular went to bed with a keen memory of the work.

Work it was, picking up and passing (or tossing) 2,656 pumpkins down the line, out of the truck and into the church yard. Some weighed as much as 40 pounds. Deep in the bowels of the semi trailer, it was dark, dusty and sweaty. Pumpkins were tumbling down from the pile, flying through the air, swinging down the line. And in that labor there was joy. There was laughter. Had we not been grunting so much there could have been more singing. (There was a brief chorus of “47,000 pounds of pumpkins on the truck.”) There was a sense that we were passing more than fruit from hand to hand. (Yes, pumpkins are fruit.) And in the end there was the satisfaction of a job well done.

For a few hours we joined in the song of laborers, the dance of mind and muscle. We joined all those whose labor is their lives and their prayer: stevedores unloading ships; ranch hands bucking hay; trash collectors heaving out our garbage; bellhops carrying luggage; stonemasons hauling bricks; fruit pickers, fishermen, roofers and miners. And for a moment we also joined those for whom labor is not a joy but an oppressive burden, those who harvest our chocolate or sew our shirts or dig for our diamonds, whose labor is dangerous, and done under duress. I give thanks for all their labors, and lift them up as offerings to God.

Sometimes our prayers are wordy things; sometimes they are silent thoughts. But sometimes our prayer is labor, our shoulders put to the weight of the world, our hands laid upon the rough and the smooth, our backs familiar with the heft of life.

Give thanks for all that you can do. Give thanks for the strength of your flesh. Give thanks for the simple jobs in which you can praise God, serve your neighbors, and make the world a little more beautiful. And when you're done, don't forget to say “Amen.”



         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Monday, October 4, 2010

Autumn colors

Dearly Beloved,

Grace and Peace to you.
         
         

Autumn colors have an edge.
Shards of red and orange crackle
through the cracks and splintered ends
of summer's gentle arc.
Behind the green and murmuring veil of bliss
death speckles every leaf and bark,
and colors spark and hiss.
Leaves turn the shade of blood,
the shade of bread, then die;
they bleed and wash the trees
with broken colors,
shadows radiant and bright,
‘till all is gathered and dispersed,
‘till all is white.
Death's season; passion's colors:
these hues are loose,
and not at our command,
but still not unforgiving:
undomesticated shades
only at the edges of our living.
Faith is such a luminous surrender:
the red transfiguration of the tree,
celebrant with unexpected brightness
pouring life, unshackled, to the wind.
Listen at the garden's edge, dear child
of life and death, to this rustling oracle:
that what we call a miracle
is often simply wild.




         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Friday, October 1, 2010

Rekindle the gift

Dearly Beloved,

Grace and Peace to you.
         
         

Rekindle the gift of God that is within you through the laying on of my hands; for God did not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline.

         — 2 Timothy 1. 6-7

At your conception God laid a creating hand on you and brought a gift of power and love into this world. At your birth your mother wrapped her strong hands around you and God's gift in you sparkled in the light: the gift of being who you are, of letting your beauty blossom naturally, of belonging among us. At your baptism somebody laid a gentle hand on you; some human touch connected your heart with another, which was connected to all others. That hand touched God's gift in you, the gift of the Spirit, the power to radiate God.

Since then much has threatened to bury that gift, to quench the flame. But take courage. Christ continually comes to rekindle the gift. There can be no more serious question for you than this: What do you need to do to rekindle the fire of God within you? Do it. And don't finish answering too quickly. Keep listening.

Discipline yourself to care for your spirit of love and power so that in your own way you can abandon all cowardice and radiate God.


         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net